black licorice isn’t a candy it’s a punishment
OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM ALL JESUS CHRIST
look at the one just sitting all proper on the couch
I was tolded to sit here so I sit here
when people are like “omg i love your curly hair, how do you get it to look like that?”
step one: wash hair
step two: hope for the best
last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
Reblog if you would date a robot. I’m not a robot I’m just asking for a friend. I have skin.
is it your own skin though? As in you grew it, on your own body, from birth?
This skin was grown yes. On a human body. That is mine. I’m not a robot
Ok ok I’ll believe you… If you first tell me what this says:
I don’t need to prove myself to you how dare you, I love breathing oxygen
Who the fuck named the Sahara Desert anyway
Sahara is just the Arabic word for “deserts”
You fucking named it the Desert Desert
way to fucking go
I’ll take “European Imperialists Who Never Bothered To Translate The Local Languages” for $200, Alex.
"Soviet" means "union"
The Union Union
We’re good at this.
the world is full of nothing but moon moons we are all moon moon all of us
employer: why should we hire you?
me: i got first place on Rainbow Road
employer: holy shit